Trust Yourself
Markus D | Posted 12/29/2008
Trust Yourself
by Markus D
Do you trust your gut feelings? Or do you think - like many others - that everything you conciously see and perceive is enough to make a good decision?
If you ever walked up to a woman with a pre-canned line and then completely failed when trying to deliver it, you may know what I mean: It is not possible for us humans to think while we're talking to other people. Thinking consciously while doing things that have to happen in real-time, like talking or driving a car, is next to impossible. That's also because our conscious mind needs 2-3 seconds to form a response for an external stimulus - such as the reaction of another person to your canned line. This is also the reason why canned lines don't work - we're simply too slow to deliver them properly! If you think you can make up a whole conversation consciously, in the moment, it will simply not work.
Think of the first time you learned to drive a car. The first movements were slow and awkward, and you needed a lot of time to think consciously through all the steps necessary, especially if you learned to drive a manual shift gear. It seemed an impossible task to do. But what happened later, after trying it a few times? It went automatically and you began acting at a much higher speed. What happened was that your unconscious learned the process and took over control, so that your conscious mind would be able to follow traffic and other disturbances on the road.
So what does this mean for talking to other people and getting to know someone? Well, it means to say good-bye to canned pickup lines. They simply don't work. They cannot work. I mean, you could build up a repertoire of lines and responses to many of the ways the woman could answer. But if you were to make up a conversation and consciously try to think about something intelligent to say in each moment, you will not only badly slow in your responses, but it will also sound awkward.
If you want to learn how to talk to someone from the opposite sex, there's only one way to get into it and learn it. Guess how? Think of your car driving lessons. Well, it's just doing it and repeating it until your unconscious mind learns how to do it automatically. As soon as you do it automatically you can apply this to any situation you want. It could be the hottest woman on earth and your unconscious would know exactly what to say and how to say it - without even you noticing what you did! This is real mastery. This is what it takes to be really good. But the path there is long and you need a lot of training.
One way of making things easier is to practice everyday in all kinds of situation, not necessarily only in challenging situations in a club on the weekend. As you start talking to people everywhere, your unconscious will become so powerful at talking to people and engaging them in conversation, you'll wonder how you ever didn't do that in the past. But it takes some courage, especially in the beginning, and you have to give yourself permission to fail. But be sure that with every experience you get better and better.
So trust yourself and let your unconscious mind work for you - it's easier and so much more fun!
This blog was posted by Markus D on 12/29/2008 and is filed under Dating.
