Just Be Yourself!?
Markus | Posted 2/3/2009

Just Be Yourself! Haven't you heard that piece of advice? It seems to me that many of the so-called PUA gurus, especially the ones that call themselves "naturals", tell their students to do just that to be successful. Just be yourself and everything works out well.

But that is for sure the greatest BS I've ever heard in my life! No wonder many guys feel helpless and frustrated because they just don't seem to "get it". If I stay myself and do what I always have done how can I be more successful than I am now? It's impossible! Just be yourself means, don't change anything, just do what you always do.

The reason these so-called gurus tell that because many of them ARE successful with women, some even extremely successful, but they just don’t know why they are what they are. But how the hell can they teach it to another guy if they don’t even know themselves WHAT makes them so successful?

Many of them come up with either of the two strategies: Either they mystify success with women to a something you cannot quite learn so just be yourself and you will see method, or they break things down into pickup lines, routines, negs and so on to give guys techniques they will never be able to use. Both ways are wrong ways in my opinion. I have taken them initially when I started and the result was zero.

So what is it that works? In my opinion, the things you actually DO when meeting or talking to a woman are just the tip of the iceberg, something that comes naturally.

And there I agree in part with the guys that say “Just Be Yourself”. Because “Just Be Yourself” isn’t completely wrong, it’s just understood wrong. The real and true meaning of it is that when you have yourself together, if you have sound beliefs and a personality that has the power to do all this, things are easy and will happen naturally.

It also means that everything you need to attract and seduce women is already inside you; it really is. But usually these skills are well covered up by all the bad thoughts and beliefs one creates in your head. It’s all about fears holding you back from what you really could do, from exploiting your full potential.

I am a firm believer that everyone has this potential inside. Everybody has created different strategies to cover it up, but we all have access to this potential. The way to set these potentials free is to clear up all the garbage that covers them, meaning working on fears, belief systems, images and voices in your head, the way you talk to yourself. We can call this the “inner game”.

I also firmly believe that if you do NOT have your inner game 100% together you ultimately will not and cannot be successful with women. It’s just not possible. Whatever pickup line you use, it will never sound true because its never the true YOU that speaks but some pre-learned routine.

So how can we work on these inner game issues? Well, it’s not a quick process, and you have to take your time to go through the effort. The most effective techniques will include self-talk, suggestions and NLP techniques. With these tools you will be able to change the way your inner self – the unconscious – sees the world and the way it works and it will automatically begin to do things the way you want them to be. Just like it makes you drive cars, write texts or ride a bike without giving too much thought on it.

For all this techniques repetition is key. Our inner mind is only able to assimilate things when it’s trained repetitively. This is valid as well for other areas in your life – and there the “outer game” comes into play. If you only work on inner game but never actually talk to a woman, your unconscious will never learn how to talk to a woman! The more you talk to people, the more it gets automatic and also the more fun and entertaining it will be!

My friend David Wygant covers this and much more in his program Men's Mastery Series. It is excellent and you can download it here!

This blog was posted by Markus on 2/3/2009 and is filed under Dating.